HICCUPS IN THE RAIN

mon, jul 14 08 at 16:03

Okay, so my last day at the costume shop was a bit of an anticlimax.

The original plan was to have a drunken shut in with a bunch of beers and dress up in ridiculous costumes whilst wasted. Unfortunately, one by one everyone bailed, and I was left with an armfull of beers and no one to dress up with.

Acquiring the beers was pretty hilarious though.

Saturday afternoon, Sophie and I saunter over to the liquor store next door. Sophie, in a 1930s butcher’s vest/apron combo, myself in a fabulous military-type hat thing. We walk in, and the clerk asks us,
“Do you work at the costume shop next door?”
“….Yes.”

Paying for the beers:
“You two finished for the day?”
“…No.”

I just realised I haven’t mentioned that I’ve been working at a costume hire place at all, let alone since March. I guess the only people who read this already knew that. It’s had it’s ups and downs, and for legal stalking purposes, I won’t mention which one. Instead, I’ll list a few choice moments. Some of which Sophie (my other half at the store) and I are planning to include in a screenplay about working there. Imagine a Empire Records and Clerks on ACID.

Choice moment one:

This guy comes in and asks for the fireman costume. No problems there. He tries it on and then comes up to the counter..
“Excuse me, but, do you have any trousers that can be removed…. quickly?”
“I’m sorry?”
“You know, like.. velcro? Velcro trousers?”
“I’m afraid we don’t have any of those..”

He proceeds to hire the fireman costume, sans trousers. Upon return (because we do the laundry as well), the outfit is covered in what smells and feels like oil. Gross.

Choice moment two:
(phone booking)

“Hi there, do you have any costumes that don’t have a shape?”
“..That don’t have a…shape?”
“Yes.”
“I’m afraid all our costumes have shapes.. that’s how we tell them apart.”
“Oh. (pause) What about jelly? Do you have anything like jelly?”
(pause)
“We’ve got… a dragon.. What about a dinosaur? Or Michael Jackson?”

Choice moment three:

Quiet unassuming asian fellow purchases a plastic muscley chest and red lipstick.

Choice moment four:
(this is more of an injoke and general shenanigans we get up to)

Michael showed me this video quite a while ago. I subsequently showed everyone at work, and we’ve been slowly learning the lyrics ever since.

If you can’t watch it, or aren’t convinced, this guy has brilliantly written amazing lyrics to the batman theme. The video is an entirely different story.

Okay, so one afternoon, it’s particularly quiet. I go to the international section to pick up something mexican for a customer. Now, above the international section, there’s this loft type area, which overlooks the entire back area, a kind of graveyard for old costumey crap.

All of a sudden, I hear “You shot my paaaaarents… I am the batman!”
I look up, and Sophie is wearing the batman costume, arms folded and standing over me.
I nearly fall over and wet my pants, its so hilarious.
What makes it even more hilarious is that she’d been waiting 20 minutes for me to walk over to this particular area.

There’ll be more choice moments once I remember them.

cheese and crackers,
tanya